OK, so I’ve mentioned in the past that I have gynephobia, albeit not in a crippling way, I’m just paranoid. Well, today, for some odd-ball reason, this girl at work brought it up and started arguing about it with me. Let me tell you something, dear friends (maybe half of which are of the female persuasion,) arguing with a girl is bad, but arguing with a girl about you OWN FEAR OF WOMEN is like trying to convince a shark not to eat you by strapping raw and bleeding meat to yourself.
First she did the normal thing any one would do, she asked why (the reasons of which are far too in depth to go into here), and she did the one thing that any woman would do, she threatened to kill me. I KID YOU NOT! She kept going on with “If I wanted to kill you, I would send my Daddy after you. He’s crazy and wouldn’t think twice about doing it.”
”What? You wanna kill me?”
”No, but I could if I wanted too.”
”Holy crap! You’re threatening me! Way to make your case against my fear of women!”
”I don’t want to kill you.”
”Bull crap! You were just saying that you could! Like your trying to hint at me so that when some huge guy with a gun comes my way, I’ll know it was you who sent him! And you’re denying it so that if I escape, you have reasonable doubt!”
”All I’m saying is I could kill you if I wanted to!”
”Jesus, woman, get the hell away from me! But, you know, don’t kill me.”
Have you ever seen the Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy? The episode where Grim is dressed like a clown and is slapping the crunk out of Billy, yelling “Stop being afraid of clowns you moron!”
Yeah, that was me.
So the moral of the story is never admit to any one that your are afraid of them or they will try and kill you. If they are a woman, they probably will get someone else to kill you.
BTW: IF I don’t update by Saturday, tell the police Brandy sicked her Daddy on me.